So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
