So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
pray to the hookup gods
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
