you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
