do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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