he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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