her vagine was all disorganized.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
