Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
