Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
