we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
