My first STD was from a foam party
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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