My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
