Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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