I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
