im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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