If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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