i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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