I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
