My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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