YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just want to make out with him forever
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
