12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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