and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
