a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
