I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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