Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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