found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
