He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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