people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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