he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
