she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I currently don't understand fingers.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
