Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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