Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
