Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
