yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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