If that was your dad, he is hot
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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