well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
