How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
She said her name was "party"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You pole danced in your parka.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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