Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Randomize
