I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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