He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
