cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
