She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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