lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
