then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
