I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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