Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
