So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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