does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
