STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
