Just fell off a train. Bad.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Oh god it's open bar.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
