i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
