They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
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Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
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So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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