High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
