So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
