Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
