I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
