so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
