I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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