This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
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She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
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I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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