Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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