Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
this just has baby written all over it
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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