You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
