You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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