i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
