i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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