oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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