That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
