Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
