i barfeds in our rink
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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